Saturday, February 9, 2008

Having The Sex Talk Before The Santa Talk - Huh?

So...Matthew (7 almost 8) comes home and has some good one on one time with Katherin. During their conversation Matthew brings up that fact that one of his friends (who like him is in the 2nd grade - and obviousely is lying) is bragging about having sex with a girl and then saying another one of his friends had sex with his mom.

Katherin just lets him talk and talk and then nearing the end of the conversation she engages him about what he knows about sex. Not a lot - and he wants to know more.

So she left it up to me - thats right. There are many more qualified people to have this talk with Matthew than I am - but I am the dad.

My response to her was, you want me to have the sex talk before the Santa talk?

The next day we had the talk. It was hilarious. Yous see - our thought process was this: OK - things have changed. We've heard about it, but didn't think it was this fast. It is better to learn it from us than on the playground. That way we can start off talking about the sacred nature of our bodies and the power of creation etc...and my favorite - paint a really ugly picture of STDs and drive fear into them so deeply they will want to be celibate their entire life.

You really shouldnt have the sex talk with a 2nd grader and here's why:

  1. Once they find out what it is it really grosses them out and they just want to leave before you finish.
  2. What they learned on the playground at this age - really isnt all that bad. Do more listening. They are so young their creative minds about sex really just involves making out on the couch. Like I said - do more listening.

Their were two really funny moments in this conversation. The first was when Matthew said, "I used to want 12 kids when I got old, now I dont want any."

The other was a conversation that went like:

Matthew: "Oh gross - so you and mom have had sex 3 times, that's disgusting"

Me: "Yes, it is gross - but that's the sacrifice I made to bring into our family. It's tough, but its worth it"

I can't wait for the Santa Talk - it will be much easier - especially since I'm making Katherin do it.

1 comment:

TheOrderofthePorters said...

That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long long while my friend.
Just be glad you weren't like a friend of mine who had to have the sex talk because her 9 yr old daughter walked in on them.
I hope you don't mind if I steal that response when my kids say that it's gross. Funny funny funny!!!